


Advent Calendar 2013

by Anarion, days_of_storm



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Case, Crime, Diary/Journal, Family, Humor, M/M, Public Sex, Sex, Siblings, Slash, Texting, post-its
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-03 04:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anarion/pseuds/Anarion, https://archiveofourown.org/users/days_of_storm/pseuds/days_of_storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's that time of the year again, so here's the annual Advent Calendar filled with little ficlets, brought to you by  and me. We will post in rotation, so you get a posting by me one day and one from her the next day, right up until Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. December 1st

SD // It happened again.

GL // It's my day off.

SD // Commissioner says you need to come in.

GL // Since when is this our division?  
GL // And did I mention that it's my day off?

SD // He used the words 'massacre' and 'slashed'. Also 'fired'.

GL // Fine. Where?

SD // National Gallery.

GL // There in 30.


	2. Chapter 2

“John.”  
Silence.  
“John!”  
Nothing. “John?”

SH// JOHN. Where are you?  
JW// Shopping. Why are you yelling at me. I told you where I was going.  
SH// You are not here.  
JW// What’s up?  
SH// Very funny. I am bored. Bored. BORED.  
JW// Anything you want from M&S  
SH// Matches. Strong alcohol. Cocktail umbrellas.

John came home, carrying a large bag full of veggies, two pints of milk and enough toast to last until Christmas. He had carefully circumnavigated the cocktail umbrellas and matches, but had stopped in front of a bottle of 10 year old Talisker on sale. Somehow he couldn’t let that opportunity pass. And since Sherlock was bored, it might be fun to spend a night drinking and drawing out hilarious stories from his childhood, which Sherlock would never talk about otherwise.


	3. December 3rd

The paper lay on the table with a post-it stuck to it. The post-it said

  
Sherlock, that snarky Sergeant came over. She refused to enter 

although I told her that you two were in, 

only handed me the paper. What an ill-mannered woman. 

Speaking of manners, WHY are you still in bed?

  


Sherlock had barely read the headline (‘The Slasher strikes again’) when he lunged over the coffee table to grab his mobile.

SH // What

GL // Excuse me?

SH // Pressed ‘send’ too fast.

SH // What is going on?

SH // Why haven’t you called me?

GL // Not really your area, is it?

SH // A slasher?

GL // Did you read the whole article?

SH // No.

GL // Read it. If you want in, we’re at the NG.

SH // What on earth is the NG?

GL // National Gallery...


	4. Chapter 4

SH // John, come to the NG. Immediately!  
JW// Fuck off. Also, what is NG  
SH// I told you a hangover was imminent. Shouldn’t have had that whisky. National Gallery.  
JW// No.  
SH// Immediately. As in now.  
SH// John Hamish Watson. It’s a case. I need you to work with me.  
JW// any victims?  
SH// Five so far. Slashed down the middle. Pieces everywhere.

“Sherlock, what are you talking about?” John’s head was about to burst and he hoped that Sherlock was joking. “I hope you are joking.”  
“I am at the National Gallery. Someone has been slashing paintings.”  
John hung up. 

SH// They are worth more than the gross national product of Great Britain.  
SH// German Renaissance paintings. Dürer. Come on. Get up.  
SH// I will buy you coffee.  
JW// You wrote the umlaut to annoy me. I don’t care for German Renaissance paintings. I care for my bed.  
SH// Ridiculous.


	5. December 5th

Dear diary, 

Today was very disappointing. We have a new case, one that could be very effective as good publicity for the Yard and the press is all over it. This could be my chance!

But then _he_ comes along and humiliates me in front of every one.  
I don’t understand why he doesn’t appreciate me more. Every case I give him valuable suggestions and insights, which he blatantly ignores or casts aside, and he doesn’t even stop there, he has to insult me every time we meet, too.

I hate him. Why do I crave his approval so much then?

Margaret doesn’t get it. She says I should let it go already. Why oh why did I marry her? Can’t talk to Sally about it either, she’ll just get mad.

Don't understand how Lestrade does it. They almost seem to be friends.


	6. Chapter 6

SH// John!

JW// No

SH// Are you on your way?

JW// No

SH// Good. Can you bring my notebook from May 2007? Case notes on Napoleon figurines.

SH// There is aspirin next to the formaldehyde. Upper left corner of the cupboard. In the Lady Grey tea box.

JW// I do not even want to know.

SH// There is coffee here.

JW// Alright alright. I’ll come. You owe me, though.

SH// You bought the whisky.

JW// …

SH// Hurry up!


	7. December 7th

EH // feiguredout texting

EH // Figured out texting thank you for the new phone Sherlock

EH // Figured out punctuation.

GL // This is not Sherlock. This is Lestrade. Well done, though.

EH // I am so sorry, Detective Inspector Lestrade.

GL // No worries, Mrs Hudson!

EH // Sherlock, is that you?

SH // Obviously.

EH // Thank God. Could you buy some things for me, I wanted to bake Christmas biscuits later.

SH // No. I'm busy. Case!

EH // Sherlock Holmes!

SH // Fine. Send the list to John.


	8. December 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, I'm a bit late- Had to watch the Cumberbunny answer questions tonight :) daysofstorm

Notebook of Sherlock Holmes:

Pearl in Napoleon statues, smashed, motive unclear until eluded political or artisan motivation. Josiah Brown, Sandford, Harker, Barnicot.

“No” Sherlock mumbled, making John and Greg raise eyebrows at him. Sherlock ignored them and poked his notebook with his pen.

John finished eating his cake and then drew his napkin from under his cup of coffee. He then stole the pen which Lestrade had stuck to his own notepad and wrote: _Any progress?_

He pushed the napkin and pen over to Lestrade. _Nope, and he’s not sharing any of his thoughts._

John read and sighed. _He has theories?_

Lestrade: _Yeah. Seven._

John: _I need more coffee._

Lestrade: _Ask him to buy you some._

John: _Right._

Sherlock looked up and frowned. “Stop behaving like children.”

John grimaced, and, changing his mind quickly, asked Sherlock to get him more coffee.

Sherlock just sat still for a moment, and then he looked at John, the frown disappeared and for a small second he smiled. John’s ears were buring when Sherlock got up and indeed brought John a large cup of coffee.


	9. December 9th

KP // OMG!

DH // ???

KP // There are two guys having sex in the cubicle next to me!

DH // WHAT? Where are you???

KP // Public toilet on Trafalgar.

DH // Listening to two guys having sex?

KP // Initially I went in to pee...

DH // And now you're listening? That's kinda gay, mate.

KP // It's weird. And hot. One of them is called John. The other seems to be a shouter.

DH // I really didn't need to know that.

DH // What if they hear you?

KP // With that amount of moaning and banging against the wall? 

DH // I think you should get out of there

KP // And miss the big finish? No way.

DH // Please tell me you're not wanking to to guys shagging in a public toilet.

DH // Kyle?

…

DH // Kyle???

KP // Man, that was awkward. 

DH // Got caught? ;)

KP // Not really. One of the threw a napkin in my cubicle when they were leaving. From the National Gallery...

DH // Ooh... Cringe!

KP // Yeah. Well, I'm off to the pub. CU


	10. December 10

“Oh my god I think I’m going to be sick.” John walked into the flat, dropped his coat and headed straight for the bathroom.  
“John!”  
The bathroom door was promptly shut in Sherlock’s face. For a moment there was silence, then the shower was turned on and Sherlock listened to John cursing while he showered.

GL// Could you come down? We have a suspect.  
SH// Inconvenient time.  
GL// ?  
SH// John is in the shower.  
GL// Well, take your time. But do come down?

“I’m going to kill him.” John’s voice reached Sherlock’s ear.

SH// Actually, now is fine. I’m on my way.

***

JW// Where the hell did you go?  
SH// NSY.  
JW// I hate you.  
SH// No you don’t.  
JW// Come home so I can show you.  
GL// Stop flirting with him, John. He’s had a smug look on his face for twenty minutes.  
JW// Fuck. Sorry. Wrong number. I am not flirting with him.  
GL// He’s definitely taking it that way.  
JW// Sherlock! I AM NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU!  
SH// I don’t know why you are complaining. You didn’t complain in the bathroom.  
JW// It’s your fault!  
SH// You were rather vocal though. You could have stopped me.  
SH// And you enjoyed it. Don’t complain now.  
JW// I can feel the bacteria crawling all over me!  
SH// Nonsense, bacteria are too small to be felt.  
JW// Where did you put the disinfectant?  
SH// Mrs Husdon has it.  
JW// I will never have sex with you in a public bathroom again!  
GL// Wrong number again. Do I want to know why?  
JW// I am so sorry. Oh God.  
JW// I have him saved under ‘Git’, you under ‘Greg’. Time to change that.  
GL// Oh, by all means, keep them that way. I am entertained.  
JW// I am never going to have sex with you in a public bathroom again!!!  
SH// Don’t make promises you are not willing to keep.  
JW// You better make this up to me. This and the whole day. I am going to bed.  
SH// Enjoy.  
JW// Bastard!


	11. December 11th

GL // Sherlock, could you come in today?

SH // Busy.

GL // Busy how? No, wait. I don't want to know. It's do to with the case.

SH // What has Anderson done now?

GL // Stop picking on him. He says that the paintings weren't slashed with a knife.

SH // I know.

GL // What do you mean, you know???

SH // Couldn't be a knife. Way too obvious. Someone would have seen and screamed blue murder.

GL // Then what? How?

SH // All valid questions. Still working on it. Now stop bothering me.

GL // What could be more important than the case?

SH // John.


	12. December 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look, the rating is going up ;)

“Better?”

John made a noncommittal sound and stretched. 

“I should be at the Yard right now.”

John suppressed a smile and remained quiet.

“My wrist hurts.”

“It doesn’t.”

“It will in a minute in any case.”

John snorted and couldn’t keep himself from bucking up into Sherlock’s fist.

“Imagine how inconvenient tendonitis would be.”

“You could always switch to your left hand.” John sounded a teeny bit breathless.

“The paintings are …”

“Shut up, Sherlock. I don’t ca… oh god.”

“Someone should paint you. Like this.”

That one surprised John and he lost his carefully established composure. Sherlock smirked when John came all over his hand.

“You cheated,” he remarked with a scowl when he trusted his voice again.

“I meant it,” Sherlock said, quietly, with a blush creeping into his cheeks.


	13. December 13th

EH // Sherlock, where are the two of you?

SH // Out.

EH // You need to start planning the Christmas party.

SH // There will be no Christmas party.

EH // I thought we'd invite the same people as last year. We did have so much fun.

SH // There will be no Christmas party.   
SH // And no, we didn't.

EH // I will call Molly, I have to thank her for her lovely card anyway. Would you talk to Detective Inspector Lestrade?

SH // There will be no Christmas party.

EH // And what about Mycroft? Surely you don't want him to be all alone on Christmas again? Family is so important.

SH // Mrs Hudson!

EH // Sherlock Holmes! 

***

JW // Please tell me you are not shouting at Mrs Hudson via text.

SH // What if I am?  
SH // Wait. How did you know?

JW // I have magical powers. Apologise to her.

SH // I will not.

JW // Sherlock Holmes!

SH // Fine. But I will not participate in your silly little Christmas party.

JW // We are having a Christmas party?


	14. December 14

Case Report #1895.221; day 3 of investigation, NG London, DS Sally Donovan, first draft/private:

 

_Nothing new under the sun. Those were his words. One day he will choke on his own arrogance. A. hurt himself. Said he can’t take notes, Atterby has been assigned to the job to help. Holmes already took him apart. A. is growing a beard, I am not sure what to think (not for actual report (!!)). Have been walking up and down the NG all day and there is no way that nobody has seen anything. People are idiots. L. has asked for all the CCTV footage to be collected and brought in. I am not looking forward to that night shift. I’m starting to hope for a real case. H. isn’t helpful either. He seems somewhat distracted, which makes working with him – if you can call it that – even worse. Could tell that W. is also not exactly into this, but then again we’ve been assigned the case, so let’s pray to god that H. finds something soon. I am so ready for the Christmas break. I hope A. shaves._


	15. December 15th

HW // Heard that you are having a Christmas party again this year...

JW // How do you know about that? Hell, I didn't even know about it 3 hours ago! 

HW // Mrs Hudson texted me. But before you rip her head off, it was by accident. She tried to text that Hooper girl. That's the one with the kittens on her blog, right?

JW // Stop stalking my friends.

HW // She is kinda cute.

JW // Don't.

HW // Fine. Killjoy.  
HW // Now about that Christmas party...

JW // No. Do I need to remind you what happened the last time we spent Christmas together?

HW // Please do.

JW // Disaster! Mayhem! We are not repeating that!

HW // Relax. I'm not in London anyway. Just wanted to make you squirm.

JW // Lovely. Thanks.


	16. December 16

SH// John!

JW// What?

SH// Where are you?

JW// How can you know every single detail about strangers but forget that I am out doing some Christmas shopping. Because I told you. I’m shopping for our party.

SH// Cancel it.

JW// I couldn’t do that to Mrs Hudson. I also found a lovely gift for you.

SH// You don’t need a party to give me presents.

JW// That party is happening. Period.

SH// Come home. I need you to be here so I can think.

JW// Much better.

SH// ?

JW// Nothing. Keep begging.

SH// John!

SH// Come home. Now.

JW// Make me.

SH// I am going to burn all your jumpers if you do not come right away.

JW// Wrong answer.

SH// Please? I am going to shoot something if you don’t come home.

 

JW// Greg. Please please see that Sherlock is alright? I still need an hour. I am stuck at Harrods, and this vendor keeps shoveling lavender into my gift bag.

GL// I was just on my way. Hope he’s not killed himself yet. We’re really out of depth here.

JW// Thanks!

GL// Anything I should bring for the party?

JW// Anything that can’t explode or is easily abused.

GL// Will think of something. Pudding should be safe, no?

JW// Sounds good. This man is driving me mad. Now he’s put the bag into a bigger bag and that one into a box. Sherlock will think I got him a coat by the look of it.

GL// What did you get him?

JW// Not saying.

GL// Right. I can hear noises that don’t sound healthy. Try to be quick. I might need your special Sherlock taming powers.


	17. December 17th

JW // Mrs Hudson laid down another newspaper article for you.  
JW // No, wait. 2 articles. And a post-it.

SH // Am at the Yard. Does your text require an answer?

JW // You could ask what the articles are about?

SH // What for? I will have a look when I get home.  
SH // Anything interesting?

JW // One is about the case. The other about the importance of relaxation. It has several suggestions what one should do to relax. Strangely enough sex isn't one of them.

SH // I know what you are trying to do. 

JW // Do you now?

SH // Yes. Won't work.

JW // We'll see about that, won't we? I for one feel very much in need of relaxation right about now. This whole Christmas party is making me very tense.

SH // …

JW // I think I'll start with a warm bath. Rub myself down with that new bath sponge. Have fun at the Yard.

SH // Damn you, John Watson.


	18. December 18

“John?”

John grinned and finished his tea. He had come out of the bath twenty minutes previously, and he has expected Sherlock to be gone for longer. For some reason he seemed to have taken a strange liking to the weird case which wouldn’t usually fascinate him. Possibly it was his fear of not having any cases, although the best murders happened on Christmas Day, as he had remarked previously when John had mentioned Christmas spirit to him. “Bedroom.”

Sherlock was already half undressed when he pushed open the bedroom door. John snorted and placed the cup carefully on the night stand. “Hello there.”

For an answer, Sherlock stepped out of his trousers, hopped to get his socks off and half fell on the bed. John laughed and pulled him up. “You’ll break something.”

“Never broken a bone in my life,” was Sherlock’s smug answer as he attached his mouth to John’s chest.

“Yet,” John smiled as Sherlock pushed him down and made sure John knew that he really would have come sooner to make him come sooner if he could have helped it.

***

“You’re quite in a good mood, Sherlock,” John remarked after Sherlock emerged from the shower.

“I think we might close the case tomorrow. Maybe the day after.”

“On Christmas Eve, huh?”

“Does the date really matter?”

“As long as we get to open our presents on Christmas Day, all is well.” John grinned at the memory of his shopping experience. Sherlock would be disgusted with the unnecessary packaging. To enjoy his face while he unpacked was the only reason why John hadn’t stripped it all down to its original bag.

“I am certain that you will make sure that we will.”

Sherlock’s phone chimed.

“You have a text.”

Sherlock nodded and ignored it.

It chimed again, and then twice more in quick succession.

“Don’t you want to see whether it’s important?”

“I have the evening off,” was all Sherlock said before he climbed back on the bed and snuggled up with John who spent the next hour lying there with his eyes wide open, marvelling at the strange perfection that his life was.

John was asleep when Sherlock got up in the middle of the night and quietly solved an unrelated case for Inspector Hopkins.


	19. December 19th

Dear diary, 

Today was amazing! I helped crack the case! Even _he_ couldn't help being impressed and telling me that I did good!

I am sooo excited!

Maybe now Lestrade will see what I'm worth and offer me that promotion that I've been waiting for the last three years. And Sally! I can't wait to tell her! I hope she doesn’t hear it from someone else before I get a chance!

What a great day!


	20. December 20

SH// Anderson’s idiocy seems to grow exponentially.

JW// I thought he helped? Greg just texted me saying that he has actually found something before you have.

SH// What are you implying.

JW// Are you trying to tell me that he has done something right and you are bitter about it?

SH// He hasn’t done anything right. He broke the rule and touched the painting without gloves and now he is bleeding and it won’t stop. 

JW// And that is helpful how?

SH// We know that the slasher didn’t use a knife but that he was more subtle.

JW// It could have been a woman.

SH// It was a man. 

JW// So Anderson cut himself on the cut or what?

SH// Looks more like a burn. I have taken samples from the paintings and from Anderson’s finger. He was grinning like an idiot. Figures he helped solve the case.

JW// If you solve the case because of him then he did help.

SH// The paint might also tell a story. Will be home late as I have to check with Antonio. I suspect this is more than just a random act of vandalism.

JW// Don’t be too long. I’ll leave some dinner in the fridge for you. 

SH// You know that I won’t eat.

JW// Yeah, just like you didn’t have sex with me yesterday.

SH// I have to go. 

JW// Be nice!


	21. December 21st

Hey Andy,

the police were here to watch the CCTV recordings from the days when the paintings were attacked. Mike asked me to write a transcript for the archive (I have no idea why he thinks it's important to archive all that was said, but when do I ever know why Mike does what he does?). Anyway. Transcript attached. Could you file it for me please? I'm off to my mother's for Christmas.

See you next year.  
Candice

 

[Page 1]  
[Attendees: Me, our technician, 3 people from the police and one guy in a long coat – nobody felt the need to introduce themselves to me...]

[They watched the first few minutes in silence]

“Why is he here?”

“Because I asked him here.”

“You know what I think about... Oh my God!” - “Did you see that?” - “What the hell?”

“Everybody. SHUT UP!”

~~[The grey-haired guy was really hot]~~

“But... did you see that? The painting just... ripped apart.”

“Maybe it was a ghost?”

“Anderson!”

~~[so was the tall one with the coat]~~

“What? There is no one in the room.”

“And from there you go to a ghost that what? Hates paintings? Please.”

~~[And the woman was really sassy.]~~

“Sherlock, any ideas?”

“Three. Go back. Let me see the last few people passing the painting.”

[they watch it again]

“There!”

“That's him.” - “What is he doing?” - “That's not a knife!” 

“It looks like he's waving a sonic screwdriver.”

“Lestrade, if you don't get him to stop talking right now, I can't guarantee for his safety.“ 

[end of page 1]


	22. December 22

Molly Hooper. Lab 13, Bart’s, Report Case 1895. 3:23 pm

Present: Sherlock Holmes, Molly Hooper

4:34 pm - Sherlock has been distributing different substances over canvas. Asked me to bring him coffee twice. Let it go cold twice. At least he hasn’t said anything nasty yet.

4:55 pm - Never mind that. Although he seems to have found what he was looking for. First smile of the day, second one directed at his phone and therefore John.

5:24 pm - He has been playing around with substances now. Said he feels the holiday spirit. I am worried he inhaled something wrong. 

5:35 pm - He drank the third cup of coffee and said that John would surely invite me to the Christmas Party on Christmas Eve. I think I am invited. I will ask John. Not him. He might tell me not to come, but last year DI Lestrade was so nice to me. Maybe a bit of red wine and this might be a lovely evening. And Mrs Hudson is very kind, too. So if John says yes, I will go. 

5:40 pm – Sherlock just said that I should put only relevant information into my report. I am now pretending to sum up his experiment, though I didn’t really pay attention. He had rolled up his shirt sleeves. It was distracting. John would understand me.


	23. December 23rd

JW // Sherlock, where are you?

SH // Barts. 

JW // That's great. Mrs Hudson and I are sitting here and ALL of the Christmas party guests are missing.

SH // Solved the case.

JW // Finally! 

SH // Don't you want to know how he did it?

JW // First I want to know when you will all be here, so that I can calm Mrs Hudson down.

SH // 55 minutes.

JW // Thank you. Now. How did he do it?

SH // He used sulphuric acid. Sprayed it on the painting with some kind of home-made applicator. He also made modifications to the acid solution himself, so that it took the droplets a few minutes to burn downwards through the canvas.

JW // Because that way he was long gone when the painting was destroyed. Clever.

SH // And you always say I shouldn't admire the culprit.

JW // That's true. Especially since he destroyed several priceless paintings.

SH // No, he didn't.

JW // What do you mean he didn't?

SH // They were fake.

JW // Excuse me?

SH // The paintings. Were fake. All of them.

JW // So he knew?

SH // Clearly.

JW // But what was the point?  
JW // To get attention? Be some kind of hero?

SH // We will know tomorrow. Police is off to arrest him.

JW // Please tell me that Greg didn't go with them! He needs to come to the party with you.

SH // He's still here. Arresting people is below his salary class.

JW // Bring Molly too!

SH // She can drive with Lestrade.

JW // See you soon!


	24. Christmas Eve

**Evening News – December 24**

**Christmas Surprise for New Scotland Yard**

 

_This afternoon a man was arrested on the charges of having destroyed seven Renaissance paintings at the National Gallery, among them the infamous portrait of the artist’s father by Albrecht Durer. Detective Inspector Lestrade and his team – who were called on the case in connection with last year’s cruel ‘Murder by Art’ case – managed to arrest John D.* after surveillance videos showed him spraying the paintings with an acid which belatedly destroyed the paintings, giving him enough time to move through the gallery without raising suspicion._

_An exemplary investigation which included a detailed analysis of the acid used and a minute observation of the great number of visitors of the day of the crime led to this arrest just in time for Christmas. However, our editorial staff learned earlier today that the paintings which have been destroyed were forgeries and had been exchanged with the originals during reconstruction work three years ago._

_John D. confessed to destroying the paintings, and gave detailed information as to the place where the originals are kept. His original plan had been to point the police in the right direction without involving his person. If the paintings are found John D. is expected to be released without charges. In any case, New Scotland Yard have once again shown their efficiency and even if no murder was connected to the crime, we do feel a little safer this Christmas._

_*name was altered by the editor._

 

Sherlock grinned down on the paper on the kitchen table. Whoever has led the interrogation had asked the right questions. He knew where the paintings could be found, but he wanted to leave at least one actual triumph to the police.

Lestrade came up behind him, his cheeks already glowing from too much of Mrs Hudson’s punch, and he pressed a cup into Sherlock’s hands. “Merry Christmas. And thank you.”

John watched as Sherlock squared his shoulders as to appear taller than the DI and then smiled. “Merry Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks. Thank you so much to those who commented :-) Your encouraging and funny notes were the best!   
> May all of you have a happy and peaceful Christmas and get safely into 2014!
> 
> Merry Christmas!
> 
> xx  
> Daysofstorm

**Author's Note:**

> We decided to try something new this year because we are both a little fed up with 221Bs at the moment. ;) Let's see how that goes.
> 
> A happy pre-Christmas season to all of you! :)


End file.
